Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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