I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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