I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
