Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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