we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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