i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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