Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
