Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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