If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
