It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
