My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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