My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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