i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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