You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
