i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
