She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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