I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
As shirtless as possible
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
