When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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