I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
