I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
