i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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