I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
