why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
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I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
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Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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