Just fell off a train. Bad.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just tell him i said nine months
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
