I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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