Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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