one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
