Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
