she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
