i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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