My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
