Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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