2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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