We won't sleep together?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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