I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
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