PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
