It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
