you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college