i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf