im about as happy as oj after his trial
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.