Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave