its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
