I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
