you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize