Me too!
from now on my penis is your penis
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
