Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
