You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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