It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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