why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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