Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
