I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
