Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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