you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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