I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He passed out mid-signature
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
