I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
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Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
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You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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