Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
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He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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