i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
