she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
