I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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